My life with Lord Krishna

I am the culprit and victim too, My self-worship came amid You and me. I abandoned You in Goloka to relish this impaired world, Realising my flaw, I am striving to get moulded into Your puppet again. Failing every time in finding a way to reach You,  makes me feel like a useless morsel of flesh. Please allow me to love You, Krishna,  although I wonder if I am really worthy of witnessing You anew. You know I am not a pretender,  still, my thoughts and actions are going apart. Is it Your Maya who is playing her role at her best? Or is it owing to my defective love for You? Whatever it is, this dejected invisible dot of dust,  plead You to take her beyond all her defects. If not, she will remain forever an unfortunate soul, whose destiny is to remain apart from You.

        In last three years I have realized that in actuality nothing is in my control, not even my breath. I am breathing each second without even realizing that I am breathing. But Krishna feels me breathing. He is planning for me all the time as if He is just living for me. More than me, He is meditating on my future and determining the best possible path for me through which I can become His true devotee.        Three years back I made a wish to Him and said that it’s up to You Krishna, whether You want to fulfill it or not. I left it on Krishna but somewhere deep down I wanted Him to fulfill my desire. Today He has actualized my wish but in His own way, not the way I wanted it to get fulfilled.       We all imagine our future and make some goals to achieve in life. Apart from this we also plan that how we are going to accomplish each goal. We try to prepare foolproof plans for ourse...