My life with Lord Krishna

I am the culprit and victim too, My self-worship came amid You and me. I abandoned You in Goloka to relish this impaired world, Realising my flaw, I am striving to get moulded into Your puppet again. Failing every time in finding a way to reach You,  makes me feel like a useless morsel of flesh. Please allow me to love You, Krishna,  although I wonder if I am really worthy of witnessing You anew. You know I am not a pretender,  still, my thoughts and actions are going apart. Is it Your Maya who is playing her role at her best? Or is it owing to my defective love for You? Whatever it is, this dejected invisible dot of dust,  plead You to take her beyond all her defects. If not, she will remain forever an unfortunate soul, whose destiny is to remain apart from You.

      I wrote in my last blog that Krishna is very generous and He will accept anything that we serve out of Love and devotion. Its true but there is another side of Him which is dema n ding and arduous. The more we are going to fall in love with Him, the more stern and obdurate He will become in love.     Loving Him is not at all easy. If you yearn to love Him then you must prepare yourself to do anything for Him. Once He assures that your heart truly desires to love Him then w ords are not adequate to appease Him . The more I do for Him , the more He makes me feel that I have done nothing. He never let me feel content ed by myself in loving Him . Earlier I was accustomed to feel that wow I am doing so much for Krishna, I love Him so much but then out of His mercy I encountered His devotees who are doing so much for Him and still they are so humble to say that they are doing nothing . I felt bad for myself and I promised Him not to rep...

Love is a CHOICE. I cannot force myself or anyone to love. Krishna has given this freedom to me. Krishna is complete in Himself, He doesn't need anything still He gave me opportunity to share loving relationship with Him.   I am His eternal companion. My soul is meant to love Krishna but out of Love, He gave me freedom. He doesn't force me to love Him. That is true love when you don’t force anyone to love or to do anything according to your wishes. Whatever we choose, it is going to have some consequences. If we choose not to love Krishna then it is against the nature of our soul. Now if it is not Krishna then it has to be someone or something else. So to direct our love in something else, Krishna created this temporary material world (See how generous He is, we chose not to love Him still He created this material world so beautifully and gave us everything that we need). Here we make temporary relationships to satisfy our quest for love. Ephemeral things can neve...

I desire to be with Krishna. I desire to be the reason of happiness for Krishna. I desire to make this world a beautiful place for Krishna. I desire to get free from ‘I’ ‘Me’ 'Mine’ for Krishna. I desire to be truthful, loyal and selfless for Krishna. I desire to lessen the pain of living beings for Krishna. I desire to follow as well as break the rules for Krishna. I desire to completely surrender to Krishna. I desire to chant the Holy name of Krishna. I desire to explore this universe with Krishna. I desire to do what Krishna wants me to do. I desire to distribute the love of Krishna. I desire to have strength and patience to improve myself for Krishna. I desire to paint, write, cook, sing and dance for Krishna. I desire to look beautiful for Krishna. I desire to feel sacredness of Krishna and every soul that I am surrounded by. I desire to surprise Krishna and myself by loving Him beyond my imagination. I desire everyone to be with K...

Krishna was always in front of me but I closed my eyes so tightly that I couldn't realize my eternal relationship with Him. I am thankful to my parents because watching them serving God was very helpful in developing my relationship with God. They are devotees of Lord Shiva. I imitated them without knowing what it means to serve God. For years I served Lord Shiva. I was dedicated and loved visiting temple in the morning before going to school and college. But Krishna was nowhere near me.  Still I circumambulated Govardhan Hill for the first time when I was 10, without knowing its significance. But I enjoyed it and I was very happy. I was proud to complete it..hehe..I know it was childish.. Again I circumambulated it when I was 16-17. This time I tried to know more about Krishna but just out of curiosity. I was not interested in becoming His devotee. When I was in my final year of college I started blaming God for my sufferings. I stopped visiting temple. Almost for a year...

My love is not fake Krishna,   But it’s not as true as Yours.. I am lacking in so many ways,  Like a child lacks in words.. My gestures are not always soft, But my love is tender like Your heart.. I am lost in darkness of my time, Where Your love is only ray of hope.. A tear drops down to touch Your feet, Only to get free from impurity of my birth.. Imprisoned by dark fleshes of bright souls, Enduring all to born again in Your arms..