CELEBRATING JANMASHTAMI 2016




          It was a sweet day Krishna. I celebrated Janmashtami with You very peacefully and silently. I tried to decorate my altar for You. I hope You liked it. I requested You to made me pick only those things from market which You like. I hope You did it. I made a dress and a necklace for You with yellow color in it as it is Your favorite color. You were looking beautiful Krishna in this attire. 

        In the form  of Ladu Gopal You look so cute that I was wishing to have You in my arms as baby Krishna. I would love to play with You. How lucky Yashoda mayiya is! I cannot imagine Your beauty. I feel my mind is so small and imperfect to imagine Your flawless beauty. I would have faint or go crazy if I had seen You in real. Perhaps someday I will celebrate Your birthday with You at Your abode. I was also wondering that Your devotees in Goloka must have been celebrating Your birthday with so much enthusiasm and You are so kind that You must have helped them if they had faced any problem. Only You can do that. You helped me too Krishna. You helped me in preparing prasadam for You and then helped me in distributing it. I distributed Prasadam like this for the first time. I was feeling little shy but for You I tried to overcome my shyness as I wanted Your children to have Your blessings. You helped me in everything Krishna that I did for You on Your birthday. Thank You so very much to let me love You and share such beautiful moments with You. 




          I also want to confess here that for a moment I got that wow feeling again that I am doing all these things for Krishna. But then Krishna did something and made me realize that a wrong thought entered my mind. I instantly said sorry to Him. I cried a lot and felt sorry for myself that how come my mind think such things. I felt that How generous He is, He knew that I did something wrong still He helped me in celebrating His birthday the way I wanted to celebrate. He just corrected me once again. He punishes me instantly and simultaneously loves me. I bow down to Him for His greatness. I love You Krishna. I hope this love increases with time. I would accept myself as Your genuine lover only when people would call me mad in Your love..hehe, until then I am just an ignorant silly girl. Just be merciful upon me like always Krishna. Instead of giving you I am asking You to do this & that for me. I am selfish but what should I do, I am so helpless that I am unable to do anything on my own. But I love this dependency. 
       
    
          You are God Krishna.You have everything. You have so many wonderful devotees who love You madly and their love is so pure that I am nowhere near it. I feel happy when I see so many devotees serving You selflessly, who have given up everything for You. You are not incomplete without me as there are countless devotees to love You here and in Goloka but without You I am nothing. I will lose my identity and the will to live. I am not capable of giving You anything Krishna except a promise that I will always try to improve myself, I will learn the most difficult lessons from You and I will never give up. I want to love You selflessly without any motives or pride. Help me to attain this stage Krishna. 

I love You and I miss You a lot :')

  




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